Every human being is beautiful in their own way. This isn’t some cliché from a book. It is an undeniable truth. God has created each of us differently. Every person is a complete spectacle, and every pair of eyes sees a different view. One person may find someone unattractive, another may adore their eyes, someone else their lips or cheeks. And someone might even see them as a masterpiece. A single face holds a thousand interpretations. In that sense, no one can be permanently labelled "beautiful" or "ugly."
Yet, despite knowing all this, we humans still choose ignorance.
Today, I’m writing my own story for all those people who are being hurt, mocked, or humiliated because of their appearance.
I was born into a family of very fair-skinned people, but I came into this world with a warm, wheatish complexion. So instead of being called "wheatish", I was labelled "dark".
I was barely four or five years old when my aunt said, "Who does she take after? None of us are this dark".
I still remember standing alone in the bathroom, crying for a long time.
My late sister was extraordinarily beautiful, almost Aishwarya Rai–level beautiful. And I, as a child, didn’t know a thing about grooming. Even during bath time, I would make a fuss. Many ignorant women hurt me deeply by comparing me to my sister in my own home.
Until grade eight, I had no awareness of myself. In grade nine, I slowly started grooming myself. My complexion also began to glow naturally. And yes, I was born with a good fashion sense.
By the time I reached college, girls started admiring my appearance too. The ugly label of "the dark one" slowly faded. Whenever I complained to my mother about people’s behavior, she would tell me, "Thank God He created you without flaws", and she would list every feature of mine to prove that I was beautiful.
But yes, I do wish she had shut those women down instead of only comforting me.
Anyway, I reached university, and there I found even more ignorant people waiting.
Anyone who knows me from university knows that I had a strong presence, and almost everyone on campus knew who I was. That was enough to ignite insecurities in my closest friends. One friend, who was on the heavier side, constantly tried to prove I wasn’t pretty. The hostel girls were unbelievably vulgar, talking about the most private, inappropriate things. They always targeted me for covering myself modestly. They behaved as if they were Sunny Leone, and I had no interest in proving anything to such minds. I mention this because people who behave this way need to feel shame.
Then came the good-for-nothing boys on campus who, when they failed to pull me into their nonsense, would say things like,
"You’re not that pretty. Stop acting smart".
"She’s not pretty at all. She just hangs out with pretty girls".
And many more insults.
But honestly, the trolling from girls hurt me far more.
They wanted to destroy my confidence, my intelligence, my capability, my aura, simply by declaring me "ugly".
I couldn’t say anything to them back then.
But I refused to let myself fall into inferiority. I started telling myself, "They are jealous of you. You are beautiful".
And believe me, within a short time, the way I saw myself completely changed. I started finding my own self beautiful. After that, whenever anyone called me ugly or said anything degrading, I would immediately shut them down. And with time, even those same girls began calling me beautiful.
I once shared this entire experience with a junior friend from university. It was during the time when the drama Parizaad was airing. He said, "Teeba, I’m shocked to hear this from you. As far as I know, you were the crush of many boys at university".
Now when I think about it, maybe that’s what the girls hated. And the boys acted arrogant because of their own ego.
As I said earlier, every person is beautiful. But I firmly believe that no matter what your complexion or features are, you must groom yourself.
I always keep my hair freshly cut. I know what to wear on which occasion, how much makeup to apply, what jewellery suits what outfit, and what shoes to pair. I moisturize my skin. I use serums at night, lotions for my hands and feet, and hair oils for shine. I trim my eyebrows and comb them daily. I take a facial once a month and do my manicure and pedicure. I have a full-time job, so I don’t always have time, but even a simple Golden Pearl set can help anyone follow a basic routine. Avoid bleach. Drink plenty of water. Eat fruits and raw vegetables. I buy expensive products, but only organic ones. I avoid oily food. I stay away from junk ninety percent of the time. I don’t touch cold drinks because they cause inflammation.
All of this is in everyone’s control.
Anyone can look attractive with just a little care. Those who know me consider me quite stylish.
Your dressing sense, body language, voice tone, and pronunciation make you appear beautiful.
As for feminine beauty, everyone is given their own proportion. If something is truly abnormal, seek a doctor. Go to the gym. But never adopt unnatural beauty just to entertain men. You are not working in the adult film industry. I apologize for being blunt, but today’s social media culture has tormented many girls. This had to be said clearly.
Even with all this grooming, I never tied my self-confidence to makeup or beauty. I often go out with zero makeup. At work, I keep a no-makeup look. Even at weddings, I do just a soft look. And I absolutely love my wheatish complexion. I never tried to change it to please anyone.
I have so much self-confidence that I’ve gone live on Facebook multiple times without makeup or filters. I know I am beautiful in every state. Those who can’t tolerate my bare face are free to close their eyes.
Here’s something amusing as well. I’m a lecturer in a federal government university in Karachi. Even here, a colleague tried beauty-trolling me twice last year.
In front of a male colleague, she mocked my skin tone, while she herself became fair only through glutathione injections. I don’t stay silent anymore. I gave her a solid reply. Earlier she did something worse. She told another colleague, right in front of me, "Farzana (fake name), you are very pretty. Teeba looks average like me".
I replied, "If you think you look average, that’s your opinion. But I think I’m very beautiful".
Let me wink and say, even as a teacher, I’m a bit of a sensation at the university. After all, I belong to the fashion design department.
Another colleague had a strange obsession. The day I walked in glowing after a facial, she would say,
"Ma’am, why does your color look dull today?"
"Why this dupatta?"
"What happened to your skin?"
At first, I would get upset all day because her tone seemed so caring. Later I realized she was one of those whispering devils mentioned in Surah An-Naas, whose only purpose is to plant doubts.
I fixed her too. One day, when she repeated her nonsense, I said,
Her face after hearing this was priceless. She never tried it again.
I’ve written a lot of self-praise here, and yes, I firmly believe in praising myself. A person who considers themselves or others "ugly" has weakness in their faith. They don’t truly believe in their Creator.
Because God made me, didn’t He? My eyes, nose, and ears are all created by His preference. How can His preference ever be flawed?
Look around. The sky, mountains, rivers, seas, flowers, butterflies. Is anything mismatched or ugly? Not a single thing.
The flaw is in people’s minds and upbringing. If you judge everyone based on the "ideal face" you’ve imagined, you will always find fault, just like a depressed person finds sadness even in moments of joy.
Once, thin lips were considered beautiful and full lips were mocked. Then Angelina Jolie and Priyanka Chopra came along with their confidence and suddenly the world went crazy for lip fillers.
Beauty standards change, and in trying to keep up, a person turns from human to clown.
You are beautiful exactly as you are. Groom yourself, yes, but don’t lose yourself.
Today, people love large, wide eyes, but I adore tiny eyes. Whenever I wrote about eyes in my stories, I wrote inspired by small eyes, mischievous, expressive eyes. My uncle’s eyes, a girl from my village, and a man who got rejected for rishtas because of his small eyes all had stunning beauty. When they smile, their eyes laugh.
One scene, a thousand interpretations.
Lastly, if anyone tries to call you ugly or less-than, do not let it go. Shut them down properly. People like this are psychological murderers. Their correction is necessary.
And never allow close relatives or friends to say such things to your children. Answer them in front of your child, so they don’t spend years in silent suffering like I did.
For everyone going through this, I dedicate Anne-Marie’s song Beautiful to you.
"We are created in the best form".
